Yes, it’s National Cleavage Day today. Comes round so fast, doesn’t it?

Most of us had barely come down from the high of the last one and here it is again – good old National Cleavage Day, 2013. It’s the one day of the year that proudly reminds us girls that we are worth so much more than the sum total of our breasts. We are worth the sum total of our breasts squashed together.

But there may be some of you who have started to wonder whether National Cleavage Day has any real meaning or purpose. For the cynics, here are the top 10 reasons that NCD is totally a viable cause for celebration…

There is literally nothing else to do this week apart from celebrate cleavages. I would be amazed if you could find anything – anything – of cultural, social or religious significance that is going on at the moment. Hell, they’ve even given us all a four-day weekend to celebrate cleavages. That’s how important it is!

What, do you think they’re going to celebrate your personality? ‘National Personality Day’? Don’t make me laugh! No; your boobs are the best bit about you and don’t you forget it.

Regularly hoisted boobs are nice enough, but let’s face it; they never look better than when stuffed into a bra three sizes too small.

That’s why National Cleavage Day works so well. It says: ‘Ladies, we like your boobs just fine when they’re sitting naturally out in front and even when you’ve plonked them casually into some kind of undergarment. But if you really want to impress, why not cruelly pack your breasts into a plunge bra made for self-conscious pre-teens, so that they rest uncomfortably somewhere between your collarbone and your earlobes? That’s it – show them no mercy. Scrumptious.’

Mothers; fathers; bloody ‘no smoking’ – everything has its own national day. Why shouldn’t half-strangled appendages get theirs?

National Cleavage Day allows websites to write things with ‘cleavage’ in the headline. If you haven’t heard of SEO, go and look it up (on Google, naturally) and come back here to appreciate the fortuitousness of NCD. Now can you see why we’re also crossing our fingers for National Jennifer Lawrence Hot Day and National Rihanna Naked Boobs Sex Day?